Monday 5 October 2009

Life on the Victoria Line



‘I would rather be dry than be wondering why’
Oliver Lilley

I have just woken up next to a random guy with a lazy eye. My head is throbbing, all I can think about is best escape route. Front door? Hoover in the way! Fire escape? I am not James Bond. I quickly grab my clothes and run. Good plan I thought, quietly getting up making sure I don’t make sound. Moving the furniture. Opening the door. Walk down the corridor. I hear
‘GOOD MORNING, sunshine.’ Flippen hell, housemates…
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My heart just sank - what do I say? You see I have never had a one-night-stand before. This was supposed to be my revelation! After wasting my last few months/years hung up over a guy, let’s call him rick the dick. I wanted to feel naughty and free, this should have been my new
kick-start, shockingly enough I feel a hundred times worse. Even his housemate introduced himself as the lazy eye secretary, (because the amount of guys he has too take numbers from). I wanted too a dig hole all the way too Starbucks, where I would be safe with a tall vanilla latte in one hand and a blueberry muffin in the other. ‘Bliss’

I smile and quickly leave…praying to god I didn’t give him my name, last thing I need is too be is facebook stalked. As soon as I can catch my breath I feel my heart beating faster, I vow to god ‘I would rather be dry than be wondering why’. No more one-night stands. I call up Aaron my bff/style advisor, and as usual he makes me smile and laughs at my perfect attempt of being risqué. Maybe one-night stands are not the future? Maybe? Well I certainly will be staying clear from now on.

1 comment:

  1. i love this peice..u have to keep em coming...and making a blog look good is fucking hard work i still have to refurbish mine...lols..have fun..

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